Sometimes we say “yes” to someone when we really want to say “no”….. We put our own needs behind the needs of others, whether that’s our children, partner, friends, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers. Putting ourselves first leads to feelings of guilt. But why…??? Of course, we all have to do things that sometimes we don’t really want to. But this is more about ALWAYS seeing the needs of others as more important than our own.
Self care and self compassion are a couple of ways that can help tackle guilt head-on! A need to be perfect, to please others, and a sense of obligation all mean we dismiss self care and self compassion. Bringing these elements back into your own life is essential, because you are important too. Kindness, compassion, loyalty and patience are qualities that make us a great friend, partner and parent. These great qualities can be self directed too! I believe it’s essential. How we do this isn’t always easy…. therapy or counselling can help.
This article starts to address this and how we might go about showing ourselves the same love and attention we show those around us. There’s no better way for people in our lives to learn and experience us fully than by watching how we care for ourselves.
Take a look at ‘The Compassionate Mind’ by Paul Gilbert…. it’s a great read and you’ll learn loads! Get in touch if you’d like to know more. It’s never too late to start caring for yourself in the same way you care for people around you….. and not feel guilty!